You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
