He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox