Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
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I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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