Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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