I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
