im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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