discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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