so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize