I just pynch a tree in the face
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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