All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
