brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
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His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
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just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?