That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
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And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's official drugs can't kill me
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
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Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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