I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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