i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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