Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So much puke
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet