did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I want her autograph on my taint
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.