Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize