Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
