All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i think my cat just said my name.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
