There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
