I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
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I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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