I can't watch pbs sober anymore
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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