I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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