Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
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So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
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Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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