After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
