There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
