: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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