I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
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and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
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Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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