i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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