Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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