1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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