is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
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the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
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I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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