Umm I'm too high to move.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
