PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
