Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
