So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
