I should be sponsored by Trojan
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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