Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out