Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.