i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
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This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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