I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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