You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.