are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.