I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...