Say something about gay babies.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
