weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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