When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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