Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me

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  (330): now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me http://tfl.nu/m2x7
  Replies (6) Good night (2745) Bad night (531) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.

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  (412): I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me. http://tfl.nu/826q
  Replies (131) Good night (14392) Bad night (1182) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man

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  (215): we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man http://tfl.nu/tkk9
  Replies (29) Good night (8832) Bad night (1104) Order T-Shirt
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.

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  (985): At least my shower head will respect me in the morning. http://tfl.nu/vri5
  Replies (32) Good night (4732) Bad night (1027) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.

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  (661): He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ay3j
  Replies (23) Good night (7456) Bad night (890) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  That reminds me...we need to get swords

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  (785): That reminds me...we need to get swords http://tfl.nu/9ivg
  Replies (15) Good night (7016) Bad night (843) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  yes. helicopter.

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  (630): wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back? (816): yes. helicopter. http://tfl.nu/re1i
  Replies (19) Good night (5467) Bad night (849)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night

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  (306): Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night http://tfl.nu/jc2t
  Replies (14) Good night (3978) Bad night (1149) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.

  (315): View more from New York

  hahahaha slap the bag.

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  (315): mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table. (315): hahahaha slap the bag. http://tfl.nu/tktw
  Replies (2) Good night (1405) Bad night (619)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?

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  (260): It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed? http://tfl.nu/04go
  Replies (3) Good night (978) Bad night (432) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.

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  (832): Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person. http://tfl.nu/f02c
  Replies (7) Good night (719) Bad night (1077) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.

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  (541): Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic. http://tfl.nu/b3rt
  Replies (1) Good night (739) Bad night (380) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99

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  (765): Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99 http://tfl.nu/kc7o
  Replies (1) Good night (955) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.

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  (919): Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it. http://tfl.nu/kkz9
  Replies (2) Good night (364) Bad night (922)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.

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  (870): When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody. http://tfl.nu/gc8j
  Replies (5) Good night (317) Bad night (261) Order T-Shirt

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