"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize