I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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