Can i not drive my cunt home
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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