how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
