you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
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There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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