After last night, I could never be a politician.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize